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**The Green Teabagger** · 10-29-2009 06:17 PM

I said almost.....

Tonight, TNA Wrestling returns to Spike at 9/8c for two hours of Total Nonstop Action as the road to the November 15 "Turning Point" Pay-Per-View continues!

The below is a preview of what is scheduled to take place on the huge broadcast (card is subject to to change)

- The wrestling world is buzzing about the arrival of Hulk Hogan to TNA Wrestling! Make sure you tune into "iMPACT!" this Thursday for more on Hogan joining TNA and how it will change the face of professional wrestling! Odds are The Green Teabagger might either stop watching TNA, hire a sniper, or sob at the end of the push of anyone who doesn't kiss Hogan's orange ass.

- Kurt Angle and British newcomer Desmond Wolfe will go to war on Thursday night! What will the fallout from what happened this past week between Angle and Wolfe? Can the newcomer top his TNA debut and take the fight to the greatest wrestler in the world? Don't miss it on Thursday!

- Who attacked TNA World Heavyweight Champion "The Phenomenal" AJ Styles this past week? More on that developing situation on Thursday!

- Abyss will battle Dr. Stevie and Daffney in a No DQ Handicap Match

- "The Boss" Bobby Lashley will face Eric Young for the TNA Legend's Championship

- Plus, in Knockouts action it will be Tara taking on Alissa Flash

All this and much more on Thursday "iMPACT!" on Spike, plus news on the November 15 TNA "Turning Point" Pay-Per-View event!

I can't even come up with smartass comments now. God help them if Hogan has control over anything other than his stuff.

**drowgoddess** · 10-29-2009 07:56 PM

Guys, the storms and flooding here are so severe that I may not have access to "iMPACT" tonight, either by tv or by stream. I'll try to do the real-time, but I may need a backup reviewer in case I can't watch it. Somebody let me know.

***ThinkSoJoE*** · 10-29-2009 08:12 PM

I can't do it for the sheer fact I have to work tonight and won't be able to catch the ending.

**RYTMAN** · 10-29-2009 08:33 PM

(10-29-2009 07:56 PM)drowgoddess Wrote: Guys, the storms and flooding here are so severe that I may not have access to "iMPACT" tonight, either by tv or by stream. I'll try to do the real-time, but I may need a backup reviewer in case I can't watch it. Somebody let me know.

This looks like a job fo RYTMAN!

**J.T.** · 10-29-2009 08:53 PM

It's not that I can't do it, I just won't do it.

**drowgoddess** · 10-29-2009 08:55 PM

(10-29-2009 08:53 PM)J.T. Wrote: It's not that I can't do it, I just won't do it.

I love you too, JT.

Tongue

**J.T.** · 10-29-2009 08:57 PM

(10-29-2009 08:55 PM)drowgoddess Wrote:
(10-29-2009 08:53 PM)J.T. Wrote: It's not that I can't do it, I just won't do it.

I love you too, JT.

Hey cut me a break here, I can barely do the last 15-20 min of RAW when i do it there is no possible way I can handle 2 hours.

***ThinkSoJoE*** · 10-29-2009 08:57 PM

Ugh. It's Thursday. There's a World Series game on. Do I have to watch wrestling?

Oh, right. I don't Tongue

***ThinkSoJoE*** · 10-29-2009 09:00 PM

----------X---------, BROTHER!

**drowgoddess** · 10-29-2009 09:00 PM

Oh, you guys! After what you endure on RAW every week, I really don't see how this is so bad.

**J.T.** · 10-29-2009 09:00 PM

Some Fozzy AWESOMENESS! Because no wrestling shoe is complete without Jericho:

**drowgoddess** · 10-29-2009 09:01 PM

New opening video. Nice one, too.

***ThinkSoJoE*** · 10-29-2009 09:01 PM

(10-29-2009 09:00 PM)drowgoddess Wrote: Oh, you guys! After what you endure on RAW every week, I really don't see how this is so bad.

We don't endure Hulk Hogan.

***ThinkSoJoE*** · 10-29-2009 09:02 PM

hey guys, you're holding the camera upside down!

**RYTMAN** · 10-29-2009 09:03 PM

Desmond Wolf out 1st.

**J.T.** · 10-29-2009 09:05 PM

Wait this guy doesn't suck, he's awesome!

**J.T.** · 10-29-2009 09:05 PM

**RYTMAN** · 10-29-2009 09:05 PM

This guy's already gold.
Let's see TA fukitup.

**RYTMAN** · 10-29-2009 09:07 PM

And now w/his rebuttal...

**The Green Teabagger** · 10-29-2009 09:07 PM

OMG! OMG! OMG! HOLY TRAMPOLINE BEAR SHIT!!!!! Hey look, it's The Greatest Wrestler of All Time, Best Wrestler Alive Today, 38-time World Champion, 171-time Tag Team Champion (157 of which he carried a partner, of those 3 he held with a midget as a partner, one reign where his partner was a blind three-legged alligator with lockjaw, rabies, and hepatitis B, and Spider-Man (contractually obligated to do so by Universal Studios Florida)), The Greatest X-Division Champion of All Time, Greatest IWGP Champion of All Time, former Knockouts Champion, 4-time Winner of the Jeremy Borash Award for TNA's Sexiest Bachelor, Father of the Year, Time Magazine Man of the Year, 3-time Emmy Award Winning, 2-time Grammy Award Winner, Academy Award Nominated, Four Star French Chef, 39-time winner of the Annual Kurt Angle Great American Award (only other time awarded to JBL), Nobel Prize recipient in the fields of Physics and Literature, three-time NHL MVP, Masters Champion, the only person to win a World Series of Poker event with an UNO deck, the only American to ever be Prime Minister of Canada, recipient of the the Lifetime Acheivement Award for Outstanding Accomplishments in the Field of Excellence, the only man to ever beat Chuck Norris in a fight, reigning World Record Holder for eating the most sticks of butter in under eight minutes, once bowled four perfect games in a row then bowled a 400, the face on the $40 bill, American Idol winner, saved a bunch of money by changing his car insurance to Progressive (made Geico Gecko tap out in six minutes), replaced James Guttman as The Black Scorpion in WCW, 4-time Tiddlywinks Champion in Mrs. Biederman's kindergarten class, 2-time Obie award winner for his riveting performances in The Vagina Monologues, Level 80 on Hello Kitty Island Adventure, has America's highest Credit Score (8.6 billion), recieved the NAACP Humanitarian Award for beating up Al Sharpton, can cabbage fart the National Anthem, Adult Video News Award Winner for Best Male Newcomer, Performer of the Year-Gay Video, Transsexual Performer of the Year, Best Anal Sex Scene, Best Oral Sex Scene--Video, Best Threeway Sex Scene--Video, Best Interracial Release, Best Supporting Actor--Film, Best BiSexual/Gay Video, Best Couples Sex Scene (w/Karen Angle), World's Greatest Grandma (has the mug to prove it), who correctly predicted all 63 games of the NCAA Tournament each of the last thirteen years (obviously won every NCAA pool he was in), Tiger Beat Hottie of the Decade, 6-time National Double Dutch champion, 2-time Dancing with the Stars Champion (with both a male and female partner), Pokemon Master (Level 100 Pikachu with Surf and Volt Tackle, bitches), 2-time Hobey Baker Award winner for best NCAA College Hockey player, named Greatest Wrestler of All Time by "Burt Dangle" a completely impartial BNN wrestling newz reporter, Level 80 Human Warrior Full Tier 8 gear on World of Warcraft (named Anglepwns), undefeated Backgammon player, Daytime Emmy Award Winner in the Categories of Talk Show Host (pinned Regis Philbin in eight minutes), Lead Actress In A Drama Series (made Susan Lucci tap out in six minutes), Performer in An Animated Program (snapped that bitch Dora the Explorer's ankle), and Outstanding Drama Series (made the entire cast of Guiding Light tap out in seven minutes, why do you think its being cancelled in September? At least The Young and The Restless held out for ten minutes. Pussies.), former American Gladiator in both the first and second version as well as the Portuguese, French, Vietnamese, Australian, Canadian, and Madagascarian versions (Gladiator name Jupiter), the One True Real Leader of The Main Event Mafia, 78-time Pittsburgh Facebook Wrestling Champion and 24-time Pittsburgh Facebook Hardcore International Champion, 7-time AWA International Television Champion, 8-time National Scrabble Champion, once pitched a complete game no-hitter for the Pittsburgh Pirates---in each inning, he intentionally walked the first two batters and made the third one hit into a triple play (seven of which were unassisted, six of those were by Kurt Angle), winner of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, former MXC champion, current President of Mexico, 5-time California Little League Baseball Champion, CFL Hall of Fame Tight End (only because he considered Quarterback to be too easy), 11-time Golden Globe winner, 4-time UFC Heavyweight Champion (Fuck Brock Lesnar), ended Jeff Jarrett's career and may end up with a major stake in TNA all because some girl he used to fuck likes Slapnuts, owns two Everest Gigayachts (look it up), has three Platinum Rap Albums, ruined Anthony Analog's burrito, hosts a new children's show called Uncle Touchy's Naked Puzzle Basement, lead actor on the new CBS spinoff CSI: Boise, found Saddam Hussein's spider hole, won Subway's Scrabble Contest to win free Five Dollar Footlong subs for life, who CAN believe its not butter, the only person to ever make Parker Lewis lose, can post on Twitter up to 8,482 characters, the only person to ever make that asshole Hulk Hogan tap out, can fit this entire intro onto a Walmart Application, Olympic Gold Medalist, All-Around Super Ultra Mega God Kurt BY GAWD Angle!

**RYTMAN** · 10-29-2009 09:08 PM

Anybody specting Angle's face turn to be a swerve?

**J.T.** · 10-29-2009 09:09 PM

**J.T.** · 10-29-2009 09:09 PM

I pissed in Kurt Angle's backyard.

***ThinkSoJoE*** · 10-29-2009 09:10 PM

**J.T.** · 10-29-2009 09:11 PM

So, is anybody dressing up for Halloween?

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Impact 10/29/09: I almost don't even want to do the Intro anymore
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